Leon Phelps was not one of the few men playing the WSOP Ladies Event #22 yesterday. But he makes a fine example of how I would have treated the men, had I cared enough to put out the effort. Personally, I don’t care about the ladies event debate. I don’t believe humiliating someone is justifiable for any reason. If I hold an expectation of another human to act in the way I seem fit…then I’m no better than they who expect me to agree with their decisions.
This doesn’t mean there aren’t any consequences. it means I don’t have to act like an idiot.
I have my quicksilver thoughts…I just work hard not to act on them. I don’t advise the following, however, if I were a total bitch… this is what I would do if I wanted to steer the steers from playing ladies events:
- Fulfill the female nag stereotype. Don’t stop until they never want to come back. Ever. This is the best way to get rid of any man because then they think it was on their own terms. This is a very passive aggressive and manipulative approach. It could easily backfire and harm your reputation (if you care) so proceed with caution.
- Insult the family jewels. Sure, they will laugh at first… but eventually insecurities will surface. Remember, crying isn’t the only sign of insecurity, anger is as well.
- Judge his appearance. Ask if you can take a picture of his derriere. If he declines, see tip number one. A picture of a guy’s derriere on your phone is not for booty calling. It’s to make him feel like a piece of meat. I assume it would be most effective if followed by asking all the ladies at the table for their phone number so you can forward the pic to them. Then have all the ladies at the table discuss how his rear needs to get it in gear. Tell him he needs more or less junk in his trunk, bigger biceps and if you really want to go low, and not that kind of low, go for the hairline.
- Start a thread on Two + Two about their sexual inadequacies and then show them while they’re playing at the table. Sound familiar? Don’t forget to post the pic you took of him.
Number one works well, it reminds me of my favorite story about my son. One day after school I asked him “Hey, where is your blue folder?” My seven-year-old son smiled and said “It’s in your butt.” I was about to tell him he shouldn’t say that but instead… I set out with a good old passive aggressive mom plan (and yes, I was hiding my laugh).
Ten minutes later, my son asked if I knew the location of his favorite Wii game. Ah, to be a mother in control…I smiled and told him “Yeh, it’s in your butt.” That was the moment my son thought he had the coolest mom in the world. I was hilarious. However, five minutes later…not so much. With the exception of my horrified Miss Manners mother, I had the entire family responding to all of his questions with “It’s in your butt.”
Conclusion… He never said it again. I totally satiated his butt with my expertise annoyingness and now we have a little more awesomeness.
As a side note…while I’m short stacked headed into WSOP Event #22 Ladies NLH Day 2, I’m really a big stack because I wasn’t on a family camp out with my children in Arkansas.
Also… read Pauly’s opinion on the WSOP Ladies… awesome Dr. Pauly…just awesome.
My opinion, I’m flexible either way. I was backed in the Ladies Event. If I had a choice? I would have played the 5pm Limit tournament. That being said, I believe everything works out the way it should and I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to play at all.
Reader’s Comments