Top Ten Uncool Stalker Updates for Social Media

You know those guys on Twitter and facebook with 500 hot women followers? I am not referring to Ashton Kutcher, I mean the men who post photos of their abs every day.  Why do these guys follow so many women?  What do they hope to achieve? Seems like a scary strategy.  If you do not want to scare women online then the following Top-Ten status updates should be followed with “Just Kidding” and, more importantly, five exclamation points.

How to improve social media updates for stalkers.

  1. “I really like your avatar, I printed it out and hung it in my locker.”
  2. “Please follow me.”
  3. “Just got followed by Pamela Anderson on Twitter.”
  4. “Check out this photo of my abs.”
  5. “I drive a BMW.”
  6. “I wax my chest and here’s the latest photo.”
  7. “I’m one of the early users of this network. My user number is 789,673.”
  8. “If you need a photographer, I’m the man. I just bought the iPhone and the camera rockzzz!”
  9. “Hello? Are you going to follow me? I follow back.”
  10. “I’m not a stalker but I do follow, then unfollow, then follow, then unfollow, then follow to get people to notice me.”
About Michele

Michele: Blog owner since 2006, online content since my Commodore 64.

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