Every Halloween my true oppositional personality comes out when I refuse to dress like a whore (see #7). Five minutes before we head out I grab one of our three costumes stored in my closet…the cow, the bumble bee or the big banana. It’s great because these costumes help me stand out in the crowd when I’m up against the night of the living sluts. Without diving deep into my conscious lets assume I do this for one of three reasons:
1. I want to be different
2. I need a break from the hooker costumes that I wear for my husband four nights a week.
3. I want to be comfortable.
Yet…
it’s been 13-ish years since my husband has been the infamous porn-star, the Marquis de Sade, and it would only be fitting to accompany him as a french maid (especially after a trip to Paris). While my husband is having a hard time finding the Seinfeld puffy shirt, we found my costume…on every street corner. To see the sexy french maid costume click here. One problem…the fabric of this costume stinks to high heaven and the manager confirmed that the rest of the stock smelled just as bad. So, now I have to try a few Hints by Heloise to fix my costume or I’m back to slutty, sell-out, hooker shopping. Note to self – Don’t wear this costume to the Rio hooker bar.
By the way, the next Stud of Poker will be released this week.
