If we traveled through a wormhole into another dimension…we might find a story like… Julian Assange’s Wikileaks exposes Kim-Jong-il secret rap album titled “Kim-Jong-ill’n.” The album features remakes of Fu** the Police by NWA, Fight the Power by Public Enemy and a different version of Eminem’s Kim. We’d assume South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone pumped out some of the lyrics for their favorite evil puppet; however, we’ll leave them alone since they’re busy receiving death threats from the Middle East. Yet, we know this album is about as likely to happen as Rush Limbaugh becoming Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager, we’ll settle with Fidel Castro and Kim-Jong-il having a tea party instead.
Ah, to be a fly on the wall while those two discussed politics and policy over tea. A fly might overhear something like this. Castro, now a changed man, warns of planetary consequences from nuclear weapons. Castro might even share an inspirational story about the lonely life as a dictator. He might add that 99.9% of the world didn’t understand what it was like to be a dictator, the expectations, threats, pressure, and fear of the world wanting him dead. Jong-il and Castro might bond discussing an easier life during the USSR days. Castro might even say something poetic like everything is different now, yet, nothing has changed. America still owes…a lot, the English are still well-mannered, the French are still on strike, the Middle East is still fighting, and communists are still treated like the step-children of the world.
Then, like any movie that pushes compassion towards the antagonist, Kim would open up and talk about becoming a man at five years-old. He would share about losing his brother to an accidental drowning, dealing with rumors that the accident was his fault, followed by losing his mother during the birth of his sister. As if that wasn’t enough for a six year-old boy, things worsened when he heard rumors that his mother was actually shot and left to bleed to death. And now Kim was angry because the world made fun of him. They made fun of him while helping and forgiving other angry men who had endured such tragedies. Not exactly fair.
Yet, Castro would make Kim feel better by reminding him he had China’s support who has a billion more people than the U.S. Then the two dictators would embrace with the awkward guy hug. A hug that’s one quarter hug and three quarters pat on the back. Kim would announce his support in Castro’s efforts to fix the planet. They would co-author books such as “Capitalists and Communists Can Get Along Too” and “The Idiot’s Guide to Dictatorship Recovery” and “Avoiding Dictatorship Loneliness.”
Such is life for all of us humans. What is the point of all this nonsense? Well, the point is nothing. Yet everything.